We do this naturally as a learned behavior with one another. Anyone that can not be a consistent source of communication or a consistent presence in your life either: Don’t waste your time with “phantoms”. When putting yourself out there, it’s important to know that all of our time is valued.Of course not, and if Javier expected perfection, sooner or later there would be mounting tensions, mutual frustrations and marriage problems would likely result from his unrealistic expectations. But as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, life just doesn’t work that way—no matter how much we’d like it to.Expecting your spouse/partner to constantly give you the attention, responsiveness, love, compassion, caring, follow-through, etc., you’d like sets the relationship bar out of reach. Let it be known that you need your spouse/partner to be as consistent as possible in being responsive to you—tell him/her that consistency makes you feel safe and deepens emotional intimacy. Where you’re from, your dreams and what makes you tick as a human. Connection is “getting to know” someone at a party.
But, it can also be hugely frustrating and sometimes tiring. If someone tells you “I love you with all my heart” when they are face-to-face with you on a monday but you don’t hear from them again until 2 weeks later, as much as you want to believe what they’ve said, it’s hard to take them seriously when there is an inconsistency in communication. Connection means that I find something about you intriguing enough for me to want to communicate with you on a consistent basis (short term or long term) and explore the deeper possibilities of something that might exist between the two of us — as surface or as deep as that may be. I say this because many people waste valuable time attempting to reach out and connect with “phantoms”.
When you’re committed to someone, you no longer go on dates or give your number out to potential dates – and this is something that he has to give up, too.
If he’s being inconsistent, he might be trying to figure out whether being committed is right for him right now.
But this beautiful and—shall I say it—inconsistent woman repelled me.
Women retain rights which are inconsistent with father-rule.